HAVOCMAMA

TRISTAN N















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#155 Daddy's 63rd Birthday
Sunday, 13 April 2014



It's the night before my first paper and I'm strangely calm. Even though I still have a mountain of things to study for my second, third and fourth paper, I'm not as stressed out as I was the same time last week. I think this is what they call, resigned to fate, LOL. Anyway, we had a mini-celebration for my dad today at home. My mother prepared stuff for a steamboat feast and the in-laws were invited. I decided to dedicate this entry to my dad.

I love my dad, a lot. But our relationship wasn't always like this. Since I can remember, I've always been terrified of my dad. He has a really hot temper, much like my brother and I suspect like my niece. Hence, when I was younger, I feared my dad the most. It also didn't help that whenever my mother was trying to discipline me, her ultimate tool was to say "I tell daddy ah."
Then there were those arduous teenage years where I actually told myself that I hated my dad. Thinking back, I realise that a lot of my hatred stemmed from the fact that my mother used to complain to my brother and I all the time about the flaws of my dad. I think that played a huge part in shaping my impression of him. In addition, my dad used to travel for work a lot and I guess in some sense, it never gave us the chance to become close. PLUS, I'm not the super macho guy as most of you know. I'm not into fishing or soccer like my brother, so there wasn't really anything that I had to talk to my dad about. All in all, I think I only got close to my dad when I entered university.

I stopped listening to the rants my mother had to vent and started listening more to my brother. I started to see how much my dad loves us and how he has a different, less conventional way of expressing it than most people. My dad is one of my role models in life. He has really strong will power and is very selfless. I on the other hand, have very weak will power and am very selfish. This shall serve as a good reminder, to learn to be more like my dad, to become a better person.

XOXO, T.

PS. I know I mentioned about my mother being a negative influence with regards to my relationship with my dad. But hey, I love her as well. I mean after all, she is still my mother. Despite her many flaws, she has sacrificed a lot to bring my brother and I up. Plus, I've learnt to live with her flaws, even though admittedly they do get VERY annoying at times, LOL.

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written at 23:19